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October 15, 2006
300 going on 301
This year Chestertown is celebrating its tricentennial and the town has been partying nonstop. From Mayor Margo Bailey's Official Opening of C-300 at Town Hall in April to May's Old Chestertown Gala Garden Party to the Colonial Ball in June, from July's beard contest (no, I did not enter) to Augusts's "Horses to Hummers" parade, featuring the Budweiser Cyldesdales, the people of Chestertown celebrated in style.
We had long been looking forward to the premiere event on the September calendar, an all-you-can-eat crab feast featuring hot air balloon rides, fireworks, and the lilting tones of the Bay Country Gentlemen. We decided to treat Bob and Seiko to tickets as thanks for their generosity in putting up with all of the junk still remaining in their house.
Bob and I are of the same mind when it comes to crabs. We like the way crab tastes and are willing to pull apart a few crab bodies in the interest of getting to said meat, but neither of us has the patience or interest in taking it much further. All-you-can-eat crab feasts are somewhat wasted on us, because we pretty much throw in the towel after two or three crabs. Fortunately the food line also featured pulled pork, hamburgers, grilled chicken, corn, slaw, potato salad, and other fine eats.
Like watermelon. What's that you say? Weren't we under a tent? Why was Bob wearing shades?
Because Bob is a badass, I say. The man eats watermelon in style.
Here is Seiko, posing with one of her victims. I refer not to myself, but to crab number #14. At this point she was roughly halfway done.
One thing that the C-300 Crab Feast committee failed to anticipate was our need for crab-destroying implements. Hammers and picks and hacksaws and the like. Fortunately the man sitting next to me had brought a pocketknife with a heavy handle along. He generously let us use it as a bludgeoning device. Robbi demonstrates. Though she could not match up to Seiko's appetite for crabs, Robbi did a respectable job putting them away.
Pocketknife guy was to my right and Seiko to my left. Both were crab enthusiasts. Pocketknife guy sat down before we did, so I have no idea how long he had been at it before we got there. But the man consumed an unearthly number of crabs in the hour and a half or so that we sat there. Between bites, he derided me for eating pulled pork, chicken, corn, and slaw. It was inconcievable to him that, given the abundance of crabs, I would choose to put any other substance in my mouth. Emboldened by his criticism and seeing that I wasn't putting up much of a fight, Seiko joined in, insulting my pedestrian tastes from the left flank. The two double-teamed me for the better part of an hour, using me as their whipping boy in the proxy war they were staging as each tried to outcrab the other.
Though pocketknife guy may have consumed more crabs than Seiko, on a consumption per-pound of body weight basis, I'm confident she outdid him. He must have outweighed her by a ratio of 3:1, and she clearly matched him 2:3 on crabs.
Mark my words, Seiko is also a badass. She doesn't even need to wear sunglasses to know it.
It takes little time to eat a plate of pulled pork and get full. It takes a long time to get full on crabs. I finished my meal in about three minutes and spent the next hour or so watching others eat crabs. Eventually I digested my meal and began to get hungry again. I chanced to look across the table at Robbi, who had just removed the leg and claw of a crab. Given that she is my wife, it seemed natural that she might share it with me. It was, after all, only one leg and claw in the midst of an all-you-can-eat melee. I even asked nicely.
I met stiff resistence.
Robbi, I fear, is also a badass.
I'm doomed.
After the meal, we went home for a while. The crab feast was in the park that is about a 4 minute walk from the barn. When it got dark, we returned for the fireworks. We took a lot of pictures of the fireworks, but you really don't need to see them all.
We brought Iggy along, thinking she might like the fresh air. She spent the entire time sniffing madly in the grass for bits of crab, pork, corn, whatever might have been dropped there in the course of the day.
Posted by bogenamp at October 15, 2006 04:14 AM