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February 08, 2007

Free Books

Long ago we decided that every subscriber to Idiots'Books should have a free book. As thanks for the support. And as an insidious marketing technique, meant to expose an unwitting readership to books they would likely not buy, thus delighting them or (barring delight) at least ensnaring them in the guilt of indebtedness. That they might feel compelled to buy more books. It's awfully tricky of us, to be sure. Even underhanded. We comfort ourselves with the thought that the marketing part of the plan is sure to fail. Mostly we're excited that people all over the United States, Germany, Spain, and Canada will soon be reading our early books.

Here they are, stuffed in envelopes and waiting in mail bins.

Here I am, defeated by the mailing, clinging to the last insulting strands of life.

Alas, I recovered, which meant that I had to take the bins of envelopes to the post office this morning. As I have alluded in past entries, the post office employees are growing increasingly impatient as they realize that we aim to keep coming back, and with ever more books each month. In an attempt to mitigate the inconvenience of these trusty civil servants, I have been going to the post office with a sample envelope before each mailing, determining its weight, purchasing sufficient stamps to cover the entire mailing, and then returning home to affix the appropriate postage to each envelope. Yesterday I went to the post office to get my stamps and the postmaster informed me that they were out of $1 stamps. And that, as a result, it would be easiest for us to bring our various envelopes to the post office counter tomorrow (as in today) at 9:30, at which point she would assign a cheerful, attentive postal employee to create mailing labels for our 109 envelopes.

We arrived this morning at the appointed time only to find that the woman behind the counter was unfond of that plan. There were no extra hands in the back, she told us. In spite of what the postmaster had said, we'd have to go the stamp route. Please understand that the stamp route itself is not unwelcome. But the thought that we were now being given the runaround (and, consequently, had to stamp a bunch of envelopes in the post office instead of in the comfort of our own home (where we might have watched Robbi's favorite movie, Lucky Seven, while stamping) caused us some pain. And so I made a pained expression.

But nevertheless proceeded to the postal counter, where Robbi and I stood ignobly and affixed stamps to each and every envelope.

I mention our discomfort that subscribers might have concrete proof of how much we love them, that they might be fully aware of the lengths to which we will go to ensure subscriber happiness. Even to the end of concentrating really hard. (Putting on stamps is a little like doing math.)

Those of you who selected My Henderson Robot should have your free book soon. Given its relatively modest weight, we sent it First Class. Those of you who selected the behemoth For the Love of God or the even less slender A Bully Named Chuck will have to wait the "7 to 14 days" until it is brought your way by media mail. The part about loving subscribers does not extend to spending an extra $3 to speed their free book quickly through space. I suspect they will arrive via mule. If they arrive at all.

The weight of free book making, stuffing, and sending off our shoulders, I'll take a moment to recap the last few days.

This past Friday, we hung out at Carla's during the First Friday.

Venerable Washington College professors Donald McColl and Aileen Tsui came to view the Man Joe mural. Both won points for looking at the mural properly, following Joe's journey across the ceiling, and each geting a splitting neck cramp.

Also, Dad and Judy visited (all the way from Missouri) to see the show.

Since marrying Judy (ten years ago now), Dad has gotten a lot more dapper. Check out the hat.

Since marrying Robbi (3+ years ago), I have grown increasingly hard to look at, the inadequate facial hair being the latest insult. Even the hat does not redeem me.

Seiko has been making tons of pottery in advance of the Philadelphia Flower Show.

We did the laundry, only to have it claimed by cats as a great place to lie down.

Iggy misbehaved and was jailed.

And we discovered that Chestertown has a breakfast place. This will make friend Christian very happy and likely to visit more often.

The food at Ellen's is not exactly good, but they have coffee and eggs and lots of Elvis paraphernelia. Going to Ellen's and eating breakfast is better than eating no breakfast at all.

Now we're preparing for a visit from my Mom and her husband Dean this weekend. We're scrambling to produce the set of limited edition books purcased in the show.

Volume 5 is really taking shape. Robbi is done with about half of the illustrations. Here's a sneak peek.

It could be an ad for the Savannah College of Art and Design.

Or for Idiots'Books.


Posted by bogenamp at February 8, 2007 12:42 AM

Comments

What's up with posting that big fat picture of my big fat (bald-looking) head?! I mean, gadzooks! I look like Joe Buddha!

Posted by: ribbu at February 8, 2007 01:59 AM

Oy vey, Matthew! The hat, coupled with that beard, makes you look like a Chasidim! You should learn to say things like "schvitz" when it gets hot in the summer; "mensch" when you are talking about me; and "shtetl" when you talk about C-Town. You'll also need to follow the Book of Leviticus and stop cutting your sideburns.

Get cracking, bubi.

Posted by: Ko-ris-u-chan at February 8, 2007 12:05 PM

I wouldn't be worried about your head size.
I'm more frightened by your gigantic hand.
You look like a fiddler crab in that picture.

Posted by: ming at February 8, 2007 01:07 PM