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April 13, 2007
Volume Seven, In progress
Hello all. I have been silent for a few days. I have been thinking very hard and deeply about Volume Seven, which is, you will be dismayed to hear, a scholarly paper on the subject of traffic theory. Those of you who are not subscribers can cheerfully rest easy knowing you will never have to be exposed to this misbegotten concept. To those of you who are subscribers, who have given us your trust and money, all I can do is apologize, shake my head, and say that you really should have known better.
As Understanding Traffic, as I call it, develops, I have been thinking about illustrations. Robbi is working night and day to finish up the illustrations for The Town that Fooled the British, and so she has not been available for the usual consultation. And so I have been doodling.
Occasionally people who see our books suggest that it would be "fun" and "neat" if Robbi and I were to switch roles, she taking on the writing for a book and I trying my hand at illustrations. Well, friends, I am about to show you how quickly a "neat" idea could spell doom for the future of our enterprise. If you are the type of person that enjoys watching carnage on highways, you will take some pleasure in beholding the horror of my illustration.
New Jersey is a problem.
A model we can all understand.
Ineluctable mystery: not for lack of effort.
So much to look at in the world.
Traffic even in Africa.
We do not deserve this.
All roads lead to Tucson.
See what I mean? I am not an illustrator. When next we cross paths, you may pretend not to know me.
Robbi, on the other hand, is an excellent writer, and could probably run Idiots'Books just fine without me if she doees happen to run off with her new crush.
By the time Robbi gets done with her versions of the illustrations I mangled above, they will likely bear no resemblance to their ungainly progenitors. In fact, her illustrations will be the only thing that people will like about Volume Seven. It's going to be an awful, unreadable book. If you want to throw it away without removing it from the envelope, we will not be angry.
In parting, I leave you with this enormous leg of ham. Why? Because my readers count on me for occasional glimpses of food horrors. I think this qualifies.
I did not get to eat the pictured ham. Though I very much wish I had.
Posted by bogenamp at April 13, 2007 03:45 PM