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May 20, 2007
By All Means, Bend
Given the difficulty we've had with the USPS, we've been relatively kind to them on these pages. In the face of persistent bad treatment by the employees of the Chestertown Post Office whenever we walk through the doors with a bin of Idiots'Books mailings, we have been resolute, turning the other cheek, quietly suffering the indignity of their ill treatment by tapping the wellspring of magnanimity deep within us both. But now that Best Buy has been upgraded as a result of the excellent Justin P., we need to focus our wrath on something, and so the USPS will be the subject of today's tirade.
(As a side note, the day after the last entry was posted, Justin P. called our house and asked for Robbi. He had read the blog, apparently, and learning about our longing for the Wii, decided to call us when the new shipment came in. He was willing to save us a Wii throughout the afternoon, provided we could come get it that day. Alas, Dover is an hour away and we had company. But still, Justin P., one must ask, are you a man or are you a god?)
Back to the USPS. As you all must know, the postal rates have recently increased. Or so we thought. On the first day of the rate increase, we went to the USPS to mail a copy of Understanding Traffic to a new subscriber. The postage for the copies of the same book sent the week before had been 87 cents. We were curious to see how steep the increase would be. We approached the counter and endured the withering look from the USPS employee, who, noticing that we were "those Idiots' people", put on his best withering look.
He took the envelope as if it were covered with pestilence.
He placed it on the scale.
What would the new postage be? we asked, polite and deferential.
$1.34 he said.
We expressed our surprise that the increase had been so steep.
He looked at the envelope again and informed us that, in fact, the postage would be $1.54, on account of its having been stamped with the "Do Not Bend" stamp. Conscientious booksenders that we are, we often use the "Do Not Bend" stamp. However, the new USPS rate change declares that any envelope marked with the "Do Not Bend" stamp shall hereforth be considered a "parcel", and thus subject to higher rates.
Shocked and appalled, we stood silently gaping. Then we regrouped and asked if by crossing out the mark of the "Do Not Bend" stamp we could effectively eliminate the "parcel" classification.
His look of surprise was quickly replaced by one of resignation as he realized that we had defeated him.
I guess so, he said.
He weighed the package once again. Once you cross out the, "Do Not Bend" stamp, he said, the postage will be 75 cents.
Yes, you heard that correctly. Under the new USPS regulations, the cost of mailing one copy of Understanding Traffic has DROPPED from 87 to 75 cents. As long as one does not designate that said package should not be bent.
The world is upside down.
We did the only thing we could. We got out a black pen. And crossed out "Do Not Bend" stamp.
Sad though it made us. Likely our new subscriber will feel threatened by the gesture, wondering what they did to deserve the mockery of a package being first marked "Do Not Bend" and then overtly unmarked.
"Do these people want to send me a bent book?" they will ask themselves.
It's not a good business model, I fear.
Returning home we checked the mailbox, only to be horrified by what we found inside, another sure insult at the hands of the USPS, chronicled by Robbi on Idiots'Box.
We are skeptical that the cost of sending Understanding Traffic actually went down. We are convinced that this "now it only costs 75 cents" thing is a ploy to defeat Idiots'Books and thus end our reign of terror at the Chestertown USPS. I am convinced that our new subscriber will never receive her copy of Understanding Traffic. And that if she does, it will arrive bent.
Posted by bogenamp at May 20, 2007 10:08 PM