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August 12, 2007

Signs

England is trying to tell us something. Sometimes we understand and other times we do not. See if you are any more successful than we in interpreting its mysterious messages.

For example, walking to dinner the other night, we came upon this sign. The meaning was not confounding, but I question the need for such specificity.

Next we stumbled upon this one.

I am uncertain what to think. Is the man digging? Is he poking something with a pike? Is he whaling, perhaps? I do not know what response this sign wants me to have, what behavior change it hopes to elicit. Theories are welcome.

The next sign is not confusing, but I include it lest you think I am engaged in a smear campaign against British signs. I freely acknowledge that the meanings of some are quite transparent.

I can see the utility of the following sign.

If the default assumption is that one has the right of way over oncoming traffic, then it is appropriate to have a sign that suggests the beginning of the opposite condition

But why then, exactly, is this sign necessary?

In our fine country we have a stop sign, but don't also have a "go." We have a yield, but don't have a "free to merge with less care." Do you get my meaning?

For those who have been paying attention, this sign must provide assurance that the appropriate number of hump-laden yards have been so far traversed.

This sign is perfectly clear, right?

But wait a second, wasn't that supposed to mean "school?" Get it straight, Britain. Do you lack the budget for new sign development?

While fuming over this parsimony, take some comfort in the fact that we've nearly cleared the bloody humps.

And if you're not yet feeling dizzied, take a cue and spin around a bit.

And ask yourself the following:

If the answer is "no," you could be in dire straits:

Perhaps the most abundant signs in England are ones that prohibit the owners of dogs from leaving dog droppings on the public byways.

The abundance of dog droppings on the public byways suggests that the signs are more indication of wishful thinking than successful civic campaign.

Concerned citizens are doing their part to stamp out this smelly problem.

Coming upon this sign, Robbi on her Harley and I on Old Patch were shamed by the suggestion of moral failing as we contemplated walking on the public footpath.

As we putted along the canal, we came upon this sign, which gave us little comfort as we contemplated the times when we had thrust our arms up to our elbows in the selfsame water mentioned in the sign, pulling leaves and such from the propeller.

We were pleased by the following sign, which cut through the haze of bewildering difference and helped us feel at home.

A closer look reveals that...

...yes, the Brits have a cookie called Maryland.

We purchased two packages but have not yet tried them, terrified as we are that they are somehow contaminated with Blue Green Algae.

I'll leave you with the following sign, no anomaly, I assure you.

The puzzling concept of "dead slow" is pervasive in this land. While I readily understand the sentiment, that one is requested to slow down, I question the implied degree of deceleration. In my experience, that which is dead moves not at all. A condition which would, before long, create quite a traffic problem. But perhaps I do not understand. If not, I fear I never will.

Posted by bogenamp at August 12, 2007 12:07 PM

Comments

Posted by: Marigold at August 12, 2007 04:40 PM

Posted by: Ko-ris-u-chan at August 13, 2007 08:34 AM

Posted by: Lizard at August 15, 2007 05:31 PM