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July 16, 2009
The Fisherman Prepares
I have been puzzling over how best to introduce this year's fishing season. I've posted in past years with photos of the fishing and the compound, and I'll do that again this time around. But although I've alluded to the various layers of rubber that encase us when we hit the beach, I've never taken the time to go into appropriate detail about the true indignity we suffer when we get dressed for work on the tundra.
Without further ado.
The first step (easy to forget) is to apply sunscreen of maximum strength.
This allows the fisherman to maintain the hard-won pasty whiteness he has cultivated from a winter of life in the barn.
The next step is to go outside where the stinking, wet fishing gear is hung in those rare hours when it is not being worn by the weary fisherman.
Behold the fisherman's underlayer: polypropylene on top and bottom (necessary to wick away the constant perspiration of his Herculean endeavor).
I'm sure you're hoping for another majestic angle.
And yet another (please try to refrain from swooning).
The next step is to don the latex hip waders (with badass boots attached) and rubber rain pants.
Ideally these two steps would be separated for your viewing pleasure, but the harassment of getting the rain pants over the hip waders (on account of the attached badass boots) was so great as to make this combined photo a more palatable option. Please forgive my laziness.
Next up, is a latex glove (the kind worn by medical personnel [because the fisherman is a surgeon of the sea]). These gloves are worn beneath the more robust gloves (see following step), providing a limited sort of comfort and protection.
Right hand first.
And then the left.
The latex gloves are followed by the elbow-length rubber glove, meant to protect the hand, wrist, and forearm from the fish, the fish slime, the fish blood, and the abundance of seawater with which said body parts come in frequent contact.
The next step, vitally important, is to place the lanyard containing one's crew member license around one's neck. This tiny piece of paper, purchased for $350 at the start of the season, asserts the fisherman's right to ply his trade. Without his permit, the fisherman is subject to hefty fines from the Alaska Department of Fish and Game.
Next comes the bright yellow rubber rain coat. It is perhaps the most fashionable element of the fisherman's ensemble. (Though you may be sorely tempted, it is not yet time to submit to your nearly overwhelming admiration.)
Next the fisherman needs his hat.
His life jacket.
And his shades (the fisherman recommends the comprehensive, wraparound Solar Shield sunglasses from Wal Mart [just $19.95!], frequently worn by persons who have just had cataract surgery).
It is appropriate to admire him now.
See how happy he looks thus encased, only small fractions of his skin exposed to the unholy onslaught of his prey.
Once he is thus adorned, the fisherman is obligated to adopt a pose equal to his heroic task.
He is sometimes even moved to pose a second time.
It is perfectly acceptable to swoon now if you like.
Posted by bogenamp at July 16, 2009 05:21 PM