June 25, 2008
Farewell, for Now
We leave tomorrow for Alaska and are in the midst of furious packing. Robbi is out buying produce before the Super Fresh closes. As there are no grocery stores along the desolate stretch of beach known as Coffee Point, we have to bring any fresh fruits and vegetables that we care to eat along with us.
Earlier today Robbi was over at her parents' house and found an old album of pictures from her childhood. After a few minutes, she stumbled on an image that cleared up the looming question of where Alden got her tremendous cheeks.
Here is Robbi at seven months.
And here, again, is Alden at three months.
Like mother, like daughter, it seems.
As for the fate of this blog in the weeks ahead, I will do my best to find a way to post. Tomorrow night we will be sleeping on the floor of the Anchorage airport. Provided the airport has a wireless connection, I will do my best to document the unwholesome affair.
If no network is available, you will have to use your imaginations, which might make for a better story anyway. The floor of the Anchorage airport, while uncomfortable, is no different from the floor of the Newark airport, for example. It is a mundane sort of discomfort, nothing at all like the kind of unpleasantness we will experience once the fishing begins in earnest.
Posted by bogenamp at 11:46 PM
June 23, 2008
Sad Days Ahead
I have been reluctant to say it, but as we approach the eleventh hour, I feel it only fair to give you a few days to prepare for the sober fact that I will be leaving you very soon. On Thursday evening, Robbi, Alden, Iggy, and I will board the first of four flights that will carry us from our fair coast to the barren Alaska tundra. Once there, we will don rubber suits and engage in a family-run commercial fishing enterprise. For those of you who do not know, for more than three decades, Robbi's family has traveled each summer to Coffee Point, a non-town on the bluffs overlooking Bristol Bay on the Alaskan Peninsula, to harvest sockeye salmon by the tens of thousands of pounds.
I've documented the process here. Have a look. It's pretty neat.
In any case, even though it's hot and horrible here in Maryland, Seiko called the other day to let us know that it was 35 and snowing in Coffee Point. She was very concerned that we bring proper attire for her grandchild, and so Robbi went online and ordered a full-blown snowsuit for Alden.
Alden didn't like the snowsuit. She didn't even pretend to like it.
Although the thing seems enormous, it is so full of stuffing and comfort that the interior was just about Alden-sized. Try as she might, however, she wasn't able to move the arms.
It's pretty much a baby straight jacket with the added benefit of warmth.
Later on, we relaxed in the bed, and she seemed to have found her happy place again.
The smiles are more regular now, and they are starting to feel less arbitrary. She is consistently amused by bookshelves of any variety. Something about them strikes her as endlessly funny. Ceiling fans have also become a reliable source of levity.
Mom and Dean have been visiting for the past few days.
We took Alden for a walk by the water to see the Schooner Sultana.
Dean, who is an ER doc, spent most of his time with the baby teaching her some of the more erudite aspects of emergency medicine.
She was an attentive student, engaged and clearly interested in the material. She fared miserably on the pop quiz, but Dean vows not to give up on her yet.
Mom and Dean have continued southward to Fort Bragg, where my brother Alex is currently awaiting the start of his Special Forces training. He survived the gauntlet known as Selection, and has been chosen to move forward with the training.
Robbi and I have been busy binding Volume 15, which will be ready to send out just before we leave town on Thursday. Which brings us back to the point at hand. Come Thursday, things are likely to change in Barnstorming land. At least for a while. Alaska lacks roads, electricity, and public water supply, let alone a reliable internet connection.
Last summer I was able to catch a stray signal from a nearby cannery from time to time by parking my four-wheeler behind a sand dune and holding my computer at a very specific angle. Perhaps this will once more be possible. But perhaps not.
If, in the weeks ahead, you find the blog not updated as frequently as you would like, I ask to to understand my predicament, to be patient, and to look fondly toward the trove of new Alaska pictures that will be posted upon my return in late July.
Additionally, I invite you to return to this post as often as you care, if only to look fondly at this photo of a moment that might well be my favorite moment of parenthood to date.
Posted by bogenamp at 12:13 AM
June 20, 2008
Alden and Iris
We drove in to Baltimore on Wednesday, I to work and Robbi to participate in a long-anticipated baby summit. You may remember that when Robbi, Alden, and I visited Christian, Emily, and Iris in the hospital when Iris was not yet one day old, Alden was barred from entering the maternity wing. It has taken about a month to convince her to drop the grudge.
I was not present for the baby gam, but Robbi was good enough to document the proceedings.
The difference in ages is writ bold in the size of their heads.
They had surprisingly little to say to one another.
But the moms had fun, from the look of things.
On the way home, we stopped for a visit with the Democratic Family Westbrook. Matt and Alden shared a moment.
Then Barbara and Jennifer had a turn.
Kira Westbrook was not present when the photo above was taken on account of her just having been thoroughly vomited on. It's Alden's new favorite trick, returning half of each meal to the world. I suppose I should be pleased to have such a selfless and generous child. But Kira Westbrook's shirt will need a good wash.
Posted by bogenamp at 09:41 AM
June 16, 2008
Helping Dad
It was back to work today. I'm in the midst of a big writing/editing project and had to buckle down. Only, it's not as easy to sneak off for quiet hours of writerly contemplation as it used to be. Ever curious and increasingly interested in participating in family affairs, Alden joined me at my desk. At first she was content to observe.
For a long time, she asked no questions and made no comments, but after a while it became perfectly clear that she disagreed with some of my editorial choices. Eventually she asked for a highlighter, and I indulged her.
Once she started marking up my draft, it quickly became evident that we disagree on some fairly fundamental matters: she uses AP style and I'm a Chicago guy, for example. She says "potayto" and I say "pototto." But I soon realized that, with the two of us hacking away together, the work went a lot more quickly.
Editorial standards be damned.
With Robbi already vying to make Alden an illustrator, I feel compelled to start lobbying her to join the writer camp now. Though she's not yet much of a speller.
Just like her old man.
Posted by bogenamp at 11:51 PM
First Father's Day
I awoke this morning to a gentle, if insistent, taping on my back. I turned to see my young daughter, earnestly wishing to give me my Father's Day present.
In spite of the early hour, I rose to the occasion and opened the package, feeling more like a dad than ever before.
I was pleased and overwhelmed with the gift--an illustrated elephant made from Alden's inverted hand print and a few added pen marks by Robbi.
Here's a close-up.
I can't imagine a more wonderful way to wake up.
The rest of the day was just as nice as the beginning. Our friends Cathy and Neil are visiting. They are expecting a baby of their own in October, and have come to town to examine ours and to pick up a few pointers.
We decided to take a walk in the nature preserve near Kennedyville this afternoon.
Neil spent a few minutes going over the rules with Alden in the parking lot before we set out on the walk, drawing particular attention to Clause F, which prohibits the "making of public nuisance."
Alden was fundamentally opposed to Clause F, and let us know right away that she had no intention of following it.
The day was sunny and clear as we walked through cornfields.
When we got to the beach where the Sassafrass meets the Chesapeake, I took Alden out for a Father's Day swim, hoping it would go better than her introduction to the ocean at Dewey Beach last weekend.
The water was warm and, to my surprise, she was perfectly content.
It was an awfully nice way to spend one's first Father's Day afternoon.
Back on dry land, Alden made it clear that she is a beach girl in the making. She "laid out" baby style.
While Robbi played paparazzi.
On days like today, there is nothing as blue as the sky.
And nothing as green as the corn.
I was not the only one to receive a present today. Back home, Alden opened a gift from Cathy and Neil.
Curious about the contents, she took a closer look and decided that the only thing more fun than looking in the bag was getting into the bag.
Eventually she found the gift, a book her dad enjoyed quite a bit way back in the day.
Let's have another look at that elephant, instantly among the most important things I own in this world.
May it be but the first of many collaborations between my girls.
Posted by bogenamp at 12:46 AM
June 11, 2008
Beach Baby
We spent the past weekend in New York City at the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art festival. I would love to write about our experiences there but, unfortunately, cannot. I cannot because we forgot to bring our camera and so there are no pictures of the many exciting happenings. I cannot because I know that, without photos to look at, the Barnstorming is of no use to you. I have a solution to this problem, but it will take some doing, so today I'll talk about our trip to Dewy Beach, which was amply photographed and can, therefore, be shared.
Dad and Judy came to visit. They claimed to be visiting us, but they were actually visiting Alden. We can accept this. The five of us headed for the beach for the post-wedding celebration of some old friends.
Almost immediately, Alden demanded to be taken into the water. In spite of her having no swimming suit other than the one she was born in.
There is an outstanding movie of Alden's first moments in the ocean. It contains outstanding footage of her tiny feet recoiling upon contact with the chilly water followed quickly by outrage as an unexpected explosion of surf douses her from crown to rump. I'd show this movie except for the fact that 1) I don't know how to post a movie to the blog and 2) our friend Veronica, who is a pediatric social worker, might use it as leverage to remove the child from our custody.
Instead I'll show this photo of the aftermath. Alden has been dried and soothed but is still none too happy with the situation.
It took long minutes of lounging in the sun with mom to get her back to her happy place.
The rest of our time at the beach was spent in other forms of slothful indulgence.
We ate a lot of potato chips.
We ate crabs on the roof deck as the sun set.
Mostly, Robbi ate the crabs.
While I love how crabs taste, I hate getting my fingers sticky. Yes, I know that this is a lame-o trait. I've always been this way.
Grandpa John worked hard to reconcile with Alden in the wake of the unpleasant baby-dousing incident.
His attempts to appease Alden by lifting her high into the air were only marginally successful.
But he managed to earn her forgiveness by introducing her to the pleasures of the hot tub.
It put her in the mood for a nap.
Which put me in the mood for a nap.
In spite of not being much of a fan of beaches, I had a fine time. I think there are many otherwise unpleasant experiences that can be redeemed in the presence of a tiny child. Perhaps I will keep her near when we do next year's taxes.
Posted by bogenamp at 11:17 PM
June 04, 2008
Daddy's Little Plucker
I've mentioned here before that I was once the proud member of an old time jug band called The Motherpluckers. We had a fiddle and banjo, a mandolin and stand up bass. We had a drummer sometimes, and then there was me, limping along on rhythm guitar. I could never quite keep the chords straight, but the other fellows tolerated me on account of how nice I look in a sundress.
Some thoughtful friends of ours, J.T. and Stacey, saw fit to promote Alden's allegiance to her dad's band of yore, and had a Motherpluckers onesie made up for her.
We're not sure if she's pleased or embarrassed to be associated with the Plucker name, or with me at all, for that matter.
And I'm not sure what instrument she'd play, if it comes to that.
Given the size of her cheeks, it might have to be trumpet.
Posted by bogenamp at 01:07 AM
May 27, 2008
Alden's New Name
I've already covered the legendary origins of Alden's name elsewhere on these pages, but today I'm happy to report that she has been given her Japanese name by Grandma Seiko. The "L" sound in "Alden" is particularly challenging for Japanese-speaking folks (it might come out sounding something like "ah-rue-den"), and so Seiko has coined "A-chan" (prounounced "aah-chan," with the stress on the first syllable) as a Japanese-friendly alternative. I happen to like the sound of it quite a bit, and any of you who would like may use it in addressing or referring to the child.
In other news, Robbi drove across the bay with Alden a week or so ago to spend the afternoon with Emily who was at the time on doctor-mandated bed rest during her last week of pregnancy. Emily practiced basic baby-care mom tasks like changing Alden and comforting her quietly.
When Christian came home from work, he practiced basic baby-care dad tasks like riling up the baby and teaching her how to yell.
Aware of the importance of Alden's 1/4 Japanese identity, Christian and Emily searched high and low for apparel that would adequately communicate Alden's complex mixture of pride at being partially Japanese and wistful regret at not being somewhat more so.
Here's a closer look at A-chan in her new duds.
Thanks guys!
Posted by bogenamp at 08:49 PM
May 24, 2008
Sisters
Today is Tea Party in Chestertown, the commemoration of a supposed revolt in the vein of the better-publicized Boston-based incident. What this means for those of us who live here is that the streets are teeming with hordes of funnel cake enthusiasts and that Iggy is banned from the public byways.
There are parades, of course. And we spent our requisite five minutes on the curb partaking of the hubub.
I'm not much for parades. I shrouded my child from seeing such unsightly spectacle as the dancing plush crab.
Robbi has enough enthusiasm for parades to cover the entire family. She is incorrigible.
After the parade had come and gone, we came back inside. The family hijinks that ensued are worth sharing, I think.
First Alden sneaked up on Iggy.
To which Iggy objected, not without cause, I would argue.
It got dicey for a while as they wrestled.
But as the minutes passed...
...they settled into a comfortable equilibrium as Iggy realized that compromise is better to the harassment of a curious baby.
In other news, my sister Lindsay gave birth to my nephew, Orin Alexander Zawicki yesterday late morning. He weighed in at 7 pounds and some ounces. I can't remember now. He has a lot of hair and seems like a jovial little fellow. Photos will be posted as soon as they are sent my way.
Welcome Orin. The world is abundant these days.
Posted by bogenamp at 04:25 PM
May 15, 2008
Basically Just a Cute Photo of a Baby in a Hat
Today was going to be a day of industry, a day of progress on a number of fronts. We had a babysitter lined up (neighbor and baby-whisperer extraordinaire Dr. Donald McColl), and we had a large empty van with which to complete our errands. Since Chestertown is so tiny and lacking in major retail opportunities, we often drive to Dover, Delaware to conduct our commerce. And so we drove. About an hour, it was. We pulled up in the parking lot of the Home Depot, got out of the van, beaming with lusty enthusiasm to tackle the first item on our day's lengthy TO-DO list, and realized that neither one of us had brought a credit card. Robbi had $40 cash in her back pocket--a kind of miracle. But not nearly enough to make an honest showing at the bold schemes we had hatched. And so we drove home in the silence of the shamed.
Robbi, being far more resilient than I, decided to return to Dover. I was left to tend to the baby while nursing my wounded pride. I strapped her into the Snugli and walked about town, visiting many friends, including Tom and Sarah and Bookplate. While there, I took this photo, that is really the central justification for chronicling this story.
I love that hat, that big floppy hat.
Later, hours later, after Robbi's return, we both realized that we were desperately hungry and headed to the store in the wrong frame of mind to make rational decisions. We bought a lot of rich, filling, comforting foods. At the time it seemed like a good idea.
Alden was disgusted with the whole affair, judging us with her eyes, scornful of our apparent lust for processed meals.
I like to think she'll be the type to buy healthy ingredients and cook from scratch. I like to think she'll avoid the trap of high-fat, calorie-rich stupor that so frequently afflicts her parents, but then she has never tasted macaroni and cheese from the deli counter, or slow-roasted rotisserie chicken, or those frozen Pillsbury biscuits that rise like magic to buttery freshness in just over 15 minutes.
Her menu to date has been frightfully limited. In just over two months we'll be able to introduce her to a thin gruel, apparently, not something that will likely do much to redeem our diets in her mind.
Posted by bogenamp at 09:55 PM
May 12, 2008
Helping
The weather is terrible here tonight. Which is to say wonderful if, like me, you are a fan of rain and tumult in the skies. Perhaps as a result of the overcast, the wireless signal is weak and spotty. And so I will resist my usual inclination to the verbose and share but one image.
Robbi has been asked to pitch some illustrations to a potentially exciting project. The project itself is not "potentially" exciting, but in all ways exciting. The "potential" (or lack thereof) part of the equation comes from the fact that landing the project is something of a long shot, and Robbi is never one to count any chickens.
But given the excitement generated by the mere potential, Robbi was at her drawing table tonight, looking for inspiration. Alden insisted on getting into the mix. While her tiny, fumbling infant hands are not yet capable of producing credible illustration, her critical skills are already well honed. Perhaps she is bound to be an art director. In any case, I thought I'd share a photo of my girls at work.
Oh, the potential.
Posted by bogenamp at 12:59 AM
May 07, 2008
Art Shots
The following entry reveals why each of us needs a competent photographer to follow us around and document our lives. Christian's cousin Anthony is a more than competent photographer with a really nice camera and a tendency to document the lives of those around him. Anthony was a guest at Christian and Emily's baby bowling shower a few weeks back, and so a tiny slice of our lives was beautifully photographed. Not surprisingly, Alden captured the lion's share of Anthony's attention. It was, after all, a baby shower, and the baby being honored had yet to emerge.
And so our baby had to do in a pinch.
She spent a long time hanging out with Anthony's wife Kelly.
She had a nap. While she slept, her fingers were photographed.
I earnestly hope that no one photographs my fingers while I sleep.
This shot is for Alden's various grandparents to look at and feel misty.
After Alden slept, she shrieked. She is a baby. It is her wont.
And lastly, here is our pal Christian, the proud papa to be. Emily is due to undergo a dramatic transformation in about two weeks now. Rest assured you will be informed when the big day comes.
Posted by bogenamp at 12:29 AM
May 04, 2008
Cause and Effect
We passed a rather nice milestone a few days ago. I finally got a chance to feed the baby.
We were cautioned by doctors, midwives, and lactation consultants alike not to give a bottle to the baby too early on, lest she succumb to the dread malady of "nipple confusion." The estimates for when she would be able to keep the various nipples in her life straight varied wildly, but the most consistent time frame seemed to be four-to-six weeks. So at five weeks we decided to give it a try. Alden was not confused, I think, but perhaps overwhelmed by the bottle. There was a lot of leaking of milk all over the place. There was a lot of desperate gulping of air. There was ensuing abdominal pressure, baby angst, truly heroic belches, and, in the end, a milk-coated, ill-fed, grouchy, gassy baby.
What does one do with a baby in this state? Throw it in the tub, of course.
I took Alden into the big tub and found that she is a natural swimmer. She was able to float comfortably on her back and really seemed to like it in there. And then, all of a sudden, she started shrieking inconsolably. And family fun bath time was over.
It was nothing that the Pooh Bear jammies couldn't fix, apparently.
To make me feel better in the wake of the botched bottle feed and the sad bath, Robbi cooked up a batch of strawberry shortcake.
For those of you who don't know, the strawberry shortcake is, in the Behr home, a cross between art form and feat of endurance. The helpings are large and the ingredients are not on anyone's list of low-calorie snacks.
On a proper Behr shortcake, one gets both ice cream and whipped cream.
There's really nothing moderate about it.
Oh, and in Behr terms, the shortcake is not dessert, but the meal itself.
Though it still tastes like dessert.
Eventually we went to bed, bracing ourselves for the sleepus interruptus that had been our bittersweet plight each night for the past five weeks. Only...it didn't happen. 7:00am rolled around and we learned, to our mutual delight, that neither of us had been woken by the baby and her endless needs. We felt like celebrating. So Robbi did. The only way she knows how.
I swear I'll start writing (at least occasionally) about something other than baby antics soon. As soon as something other than baby antics happens to me.
Posted by bogenamp at 11:19 PM
May 01, 2008
Sense of Perspective
You know you're a baby when the flowers are bigger than your head.
These great big pink suckers grow right outside the door to the barn. I'm supposed to remember what they are called. Robbi reminds me constantly, but it just doesn't seem to stick. We brought Alden over to give the flowers a sniff and noticed that they outclassed her in size.
Though certainly not in volume.
The child makes a noise that belies her tiny stature.
Though already one can say that she used to be much smaller.
Posted by bogenamp at 11:14 PM
April 30, 2008
Recent Developments
It's sad to say, but Alden seems to be growing up. In addition to being generally more "with it" on a moment to moment basis (she is now better able to actually look at the person who is holding her, for example), she has acquired some new skills over the past few days.
All of a sudden this afternoon, she seemed to have learned how to grip. She grabbed Robbi's finger and would not let go.
She is doing more grasping in general: at fabric, chins, cheerful spinning Blue Devils, etc.
She's also starting to gain a bit more control over her huge wobbly head. As shown:
The progress is uneven, with lots of precarious listing from side to side, as shown:
To the left
To the right
Back
And forward
She is trying hard, it's clear. We're pleased with the sheer effort.
Another endearing quirk, which cannot be seen as a sign of progress, is her inexplicable tendency to suddenly go horribly cross-eyed.
I love it when this happens, and wonder what it means. Perhaps this picture will have to be kept in a drawer "special" moments in her life at which it might come in handy. Like when undesirable boyfriends come to the door to pick her up for dates. Or when I come in to present on "Career Day" at her elementary school. Yes, I'm going to be that kind of dad. And there's not a thing she can do about it.
Posted by bogenamp at 09:28 PM
April 29, 2008
The Hard Sell
There are gifts and then there are gifts. Today a box arrived with truly unrivaled contents. It's clear that my mother and sister are not taking "no" for an answer when it comes to Alden's presumptive sports allegiances.
Check it out:
Yes, that is a fleecy receiving blanket/baby comforter proudly emblazoned with the name and team logo of the defending World Series Champion Boston Red Sox.
In honor of Alden's receiving the blanket, the Sox broke a 5-game losing streak in a thrilling nail biter this evening.
But here's the real coup:
Yes, that is a Duke Blue Devil crib mobile which not only dangles five spinning Duke mascots above baby's head, but also plays "Blue and White," the rousing Duke fight song.
I was really at a loss for words.
Just now we hooked up the mobile and gave it a spin.
At first Alden wasn't quite sure what to make of the rowdy team of small blue creatures rotating above her head.
Her little eyes followed those Devils as they spun, her little head doing its best to make sense of this strange new happening. In no time she decided that she was nearly giddy with her gift and clearly happy to be a Duke fan in the making.
That's a smile, I think. Perhaps her first real one...
Check back in a few years for photos of her effortlessly swishing baskets from beyond the arc.
Posted by bogenamp at 01:22 PM
April 28, 2008
Uncles and Aunts
People have been coming from far and wide to see Alden. It's nice that they make the trek. As many of you know, Chestertown is not exactly on the beaten path.
The other night, just after midnight, we were in bed, about to go to sleep, when we heard Iggy barking crazily from the porch. Since Iggy is known to bark crazily at leaves blowing across the yard, we didn't immediately assume the worst. Still, since Iggy seemed bent on continuing to bark, Robbi went downstairs to investigate. When she came back up a few minutes later, she was accompanied by a surprise visitor.
Uncle Roji had flown in from San Francisco for a surprise baby visit.
It's a long way to come to see a baby. We were so pleased.
As I've already mentioned, Aunt Gina and Uncle King came to visit about a week ago.
Gina was intrepid in her baby care, nimbly navigating the twin challenges of the Snugli and the "Norwegian Excursion" at the local coffee shop.
Later, she and Grandpa John teamed up to teach Alden a thing or two about football.
Auntie Maiko, denizen of Vancouver, has visited twice already in the course of Alden's short life, but I currently lack the photos to prove it.
Alden still has a number of aunts and uncles to meet.
Aunt Courtney is in Missouri applying to PA programs and has not had a free moment to meet the baby.
Aunt Andy is in Haiti doing good for the world. (Read about all the goodness here.)
Uncle Alex is at Fort Benning protecting the country. (To see how swell he looks in uniform, click here.)
And Aunt Lindsay is three weeks shy of making me an uncle. (Click here for some outstanding belly shots.) I'm really looking forward to it.
Posted by bogenamp at 10:32 PM
Multitasking
Contrary to the impression one might get from reading this blog, Alden is not the center of Robbi's and my universe. She is cute and tiny and great and all, but we are very busy people with full and complicated lives. We are not the sort to be derailed by the arrival of an upstart baby. For example, my higher education marketing work continues apace.
Just last week I was in the midst of writing an undergraduate viewbook for a very fine liberal arts university when it came my turn to look after the baby.
Alden lay upon my lap, correcting my spelling, lambasting my overuse of the passive tense, and periodically making noises akin to the squeaks of a guinea pig. Her unwelcome contributions, consistently unhelpful, did not keep me from the task at hand.
Further, our Idiots'Books ventures continue at full steam. Last week we prepared the Volume 14 mailing. Again, Alden insisted on being cared for. This time it fell to Robbi to cater to the baby's petty whims while doing the honest work of the household.
Robbi was the epitome of the multitasker.
She made notes in the subscriber notebook with one hand while entering data into the subscriber spreadsheet with another. With one foot she gently rocked the restless baby. With the other she successfully fended off not one, but two, dogs in want of attention.
Later, when the muscles in poor Robbi's foot had turned to utter mush, it fell to me to soothe the baby while I folded letters, placed stamps, stuffed envelopes, adhered labels, and licked foul gummed surfaces.
This darn baby makes things take twice as long.
Those of you who feel (and rightly so) that Volume 14 was a few weeks too slow in arriving at your doorstep may blame the small, ungrateful child.
But don't expect an apology.
It's simply not her style.
Posted by bogenamp at 12:10 AM
April 25, 2008
One Month
It's hard to believe that it has been a month since that long, surprising day when Alden showed up and changed things all at once. To commemorate her first month of life, we took her to see the doctor and his colorful waiting room.
While the nurse was weighing her (and to be weighed, a baby must be wearing nothing), Alden peed extravagantly all over everything. The nurse was good-natured and soldiered on. While the nurse was measuring her from head to toe, Alden upped the ante, making a prolific mess all over everything. The nurse was stoic, unflappable. We were torn between mortification and amusement.
We moved to "the purple room" for the exam proper. Since the doctor was going to need to see Alden in her natural state, we opted not to put her clothes back on. Dressed only in a diaper, she quickly got cold, so spent some time hiding under my shirt.
I get the sense she liked it in there.
The time came for the exam.
Apparently, she has gained two pounds since our last appointment, two weeks ago. Apparently, this is a sign that she is getting enough to eat. Given the volume of what she produces, this came as no great surprise.
The doctor's appointment was just the beginning of the celebration. In Japanese culture, the one-month birthday is a fairly big deal. The baby and its parents and other family members go to a shrine to celebrate the first month of life. Lacking a nearby shrine, we all convened at Bob and Seiko's house for a gyoza (fried dumpling) feast.
Seiko cooked.
I ate.
And Alden slept through her party.
Seiko made a strawberry pizza for dessert.
And Alden wasn't even interested. She had a terrible attitude about the party and threw a major hissy fit when presented with her card. Apparently, she had been hoping for a pony.
Kids today...
Later on, when things quieted down, Alden enjoyed a little down time with Iggy, who consented to share her dog couch for the occasion.
And thus ended a month of life. If Alden continues growing at her current pace, she will weigh 277 pounds by age ten. With any luck, the breast feeding will be over by then.
Posted by bogenamp at 11:32 PM
April 23, 2008
Alden's Big Weekend
Last weekend Grandpa John and Grandma Judy came to visit.
There was great enthusiasm for their first grandchild.
Grandpa John brought Alden the smallest Kansas Jayhawks 2008 Championship commemorative t-shirt he could find.
And Grandma Judy brought a beautiful handmade quilt she has been working on for months.
We were blown away by the needlework.
Alden was pleased by the fact that it was soft and enveloping.
There was a lot of hugging and beholding and admiring.
And then more of the same.
And even more of the same.
Alden was wary, skeptical, looking to me for grounding in this mad world of senseless adoration.
I took her home for a nap. We were exhausted by it all.
The next day we went to the health department to pick up Alden's birth certificate.
The woman behind the counter informed us that, in the three years she had worked at the health department, we were the first people who had taken photos of the birth certificate receiving process.
I was torn between pride and shame.
Aunt Gina came to visit, bringing a jade plant that we are sure to kill.
Grandma Judy tried to kidnap Alden, who was, by this point, growing accustomed to the largesse.
The day was quite sunny, so we bought Alden a sunbonnet.
She was kind enough to let me try it out.
For one resplendent moment I felt like Laura Ingalls Wilder.
Which traumatized my small daughter, who expects me to be masculine and sturdy.
That night we got a half-bushel of steamed crabs, which I tore to pieces with my bare hands.
It comforted Alden, who felt that sanity had been restored to her fragile universe.
The next day we drove to Baltimore to attend Christian and Emily's bowling baby shower.
Alden met Rich, who rocked her world.
Christian wielded his Steelers bowling ball, which spelled sure doom for the pins.
After the shower, we had some raw oysters and steamed mussels in Fels Point. Alden was unimpressed.
She is surprisingly unadventurous when it comes to diet.
The rest of the grandparent visit was a lot more of hugging and such.
Alden suddenly fit perfectly into her Jayhawks championship garb.
And posed for a picture with Grandpa John.
John and Judy have returned to Kansas City, and we have returned to preparing Alden for her SATs. She has been doing terribly in reading comprehension and shows little promise in expository writing, but we have a growing inkling that she might be an analogy girl. Only time will bear it out.
Posted by bogenamp at 10:12 PM
April 20, 2008
Ringing Endorsement
Although Alden is generally an agreeable child, she does, like many other babies, occasionally find herself in a cranky place from which no amount of soothing tones or pleading inducements will easily extract her. We recently came in contact with a miraculous device that, coupled with an irritable baby, creates quiet, calm, and sometimes even the dulcet murmur of baby joy.
Friends, I present the Baby Bjorn, which is basically an angled rack for hanging one's baby upon. Perhaps that sounds unkind, but oh, how well it works.
From fussy baby...
...to happy baby...
...to quietly unconscious baby...
...in about thirty seconds. What's not to love?
Posted by bogenamp at 10:53 PM
April 17, 2008
Bathtime Blues
Robbi's sister Maiko is visiting, and since it was recently her birthday, we decided to bake a cake. This required a trip to the supermarket.
There was a great deal of oohing and aahing on the part of the other shoppers. One woman asked (with glee, I might add) if Alden was a preemie. I guess people just help themselves around babies, especially those on the small side.
We decided to make a pineapple upside down cake, because you just can't beat the stick of butter and cup of brown sugar that goes into the pan before you even get started. There is also the side benefit of the extra pineapple juice. It has to go somewhere, right?
There is a kind of pleasure in building a cake upside down.
The sisters made themselves useful while we baked.
When we were done with the "top" of the cake, we added the "bottom".
We put the cake in the oven and checked the box for baking instructions: 43 minutes, it said. "What in the heck are we going to do for the next 43 minutes?" we said to ourselves. "How about torment the baby," we mused. "She looks far too content."
And so we shucked off her knickers and took her to the bathroom.
About five seconds after this photo was taken, my shirt and pants were soaked. And not by the water from the sink. She is a spiteful thing, this baby.
And so we put her in the sink and proceeded to exact our revenge.
She was not graceful in defeat.
We finished our business and tried to show our benevolence by wrapping her in a clean white towel.
Five seconds after this photo was taken, the towel was neither clean nor white. And neither was the baby. Another bath was in order. We washed her again, we toweled her again. She violated yet another towel. It was a vicious cycle. By the time we achieved the state of clean, dry, diapered, peaceful baby, we had generated an entire load of laundry and both had to change our clothes entirely.
She is lucky to be cute and small. She is lucky that we are biologically disposed to care for our young.
We may have won the battle, but we are clearly losing this war.
Posted by bogenamp at 08:25 AM
April 13, 2008
One Small Job
The baby likes to sleep.
And you'd think this was a good thing. But she sleeps at the wrong time. She sleeps during the day. All day. Every day.
One of the sneaky things about babies is that in addition to sleeping, they spend some time awake. And babies that sleep all day stay awake all night. We know this because we also stay awake all night. Or perhaps it is more appropriate to say that Robbi stays awake all night. I have become a real pro at sleeping in the midst of Alden's most lusty nocturnal shrieks.
This evening I am watching the Red Sox/Yankees game. In addition to watching the game, I have a baby-related job. It is simple: keep the baby awake. No problem, I said, almost bragging, as Robbi handed her to me.
This is going to be easy, I said, as I gently encouraged the baby to wake.
She wasn't entirely convinced that it was a good idea.
Come on, I said, I'm lots of fun. Let's do this.
She immediately became completely focused and alert.
And then fell into a profound slumber.
You're making me look bad, I said. Come on, now.
She mustered a modicum of enthusiasm.
I decided to turn on the charm. When charming, I am irresistible to babies.
But perhaps my own child is immune.
My bag of tricks depleted, I had no choice but to despair.
Robbi, shrewd veteran mother that she has become, suggested that I try to cast a spell on the baby.
The fact that I lack magical powers didn't seem to be an issue to Alden, who, to my surprise and delight, suddenly woke up.
From that moment, it has been smooth sailing. The baby and I (and Iggy) have been watching the game and doing various chores while Robbi gets a well-deserved nap.
In other news, there was a parade today in Chestertown.
It was a tiny parade. One banner, one drum major, one small band, and one small group of flag waving people.
I don't know what, if any, occasion there was for the parade. Seiko suggested that perhaps they were just practicing for a more important day, when an actual parade would be called for. There was a light drizzle and not a single spectator along the streets, so I was glad to be there with my camera.
It's sad to think of a parade for no one.
The small parade was gone as quickly as it came, much like this sleepless weekend.
I must return to the baby. I am once more failing at my job.
Posted by bogenamp at 10:21 PM
April 08, 2008
An End to Madness
When it comes to college basketball, there are only two things that can make me feel better about Duke not winning the national championship.
1) North Carolina also not winning the national championship.
2) Kansas winning the national championship.
Those of you who do not live under rocks already know that KU beat Memphis in dramatic fashion last night to win the men's NCAA Division I title and officially bring the madness to a close. I spent some formative years living in the great state of Kansas and still feel a great deal of fondness for the place, so it was not at all difficult to throw my full support behind the Jayhawks.
Of course, I required Alden to watch the entire game, explaining the rules as she took it all in.
Although she was obviously having a fantastic time (it was an exciting game), she wasn't really following things all that well in the first half. And then I remembered that babies her age can only see about 16 inches in front of their faces. And so we moved a bit closer for the second half, at which point she really started enjoying herself.
The game went into overtime. At that point Alden had developed a veteran's feel for the game. She was highly critical of Memphis's play in overtime, but I rather suspect that she was already betraying a KU bias.
I will have to remind her next November who her favorite team actually is.
We can't let the excitement of a championship muddy the waters.
Posted by bogenamp at 11:13 PM
April 07, 2008
Back to the Baby
If I've learned anything this past few weeks, it's that people like babies. The tracking software tells me that the seven days following Alden's birth yielded the highest traffic in Barnstorming history by a factor of three. It is worth noting that yesterday, April 6, was the Barnstorming's two-year birthday. For a blast from the past, go back to the very beginning and have a look at the barn before we started taking all of the junk out.
As for the present, I know I've been keeping you all from glimpses of the baby these past few days. You'll be glad to know that my need to self-promote has been well sated by the past few entries, and now I'm ready to catch you up on Alden, who has had a rather eventful week.
For example, poor little sucker learned the hard way that Robbi won't share an ice cream cone with anyone, not even her own child.
Which compelled Alden to try her hardest to summon the dark powers of Lucifer.
Things got ugly for a while, but eventually Robbi and Alden decided to call a truce and have a nap together.
Later that day a package arrived from our friends Garet and Matt, and the lobbying for college allegiance officially began.
Alden has the burden of being related to no fewer than five graduates of Williams College (father, mother, grandfather, and two others whose exact relationship I lack the genealogical vocabulary to describe) and will invariably be inundated with Williams propaganda throughout her life.
"Why not start now then?" said Grandpa Bob.
Apparently Alden will be influenced not only by people who went to Williams but also by small plush bears in Eph garb.
Last Thursday, Alden made her first trip to the pediatrician.
We learned that she is in good health, and that she had gained a full 11 ounces in one week since leaving the hospital. The nurses complimented mom and baby both on the good work. I was given no share of the credit.
Later that day, the college lobbying began from another direction.
My mother, Duke grad and former